TRYST WITH DATES (13-Feb-2020)

Tryst with Destiny was a landmark speech delivered by Pandit Nehru on the eve of India’s Independence from Britain.  Tryst with Dates is my eternal struggle with the posit that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.  The fairer sex is pre-disposed to remember a surplus of dates of their own and the people around them, its second nature to them.  Men forget even the year; once my male colleague asked me puzzled “are we now in the 21^st or 20^th century?!”

My mother with her date-friendly memory rescued me during my bachelor days.  Now many years after marriage, I am challenged to remember four birthdays and one anniversary date in the family; and I know the path ahead is uphill when our two daughters get married, then their spouse’s birthdays and their anniversaries, oh…the growing list unsettles me!

My beloved wife and I completed our silver wedding anniversary.  I thank my stars that we did not date too much before our wedding for she would have uncovered my weakness; in an arranged marriage family members  goaded me to put up a brave front to exhibit my strengths to impress upon her.  Ours was a chat-mangni-pat-shaadi - a Dec 8^th date when we met face-to-face for the first time, followed by a Dec 10^th engagement ceremony, followed by a tie-the-knot ceremony on Dec 17^th, all within a matter of 10 days!  If you think I remember these dates, it’s the art of by-heart and then do I really have a choice?

New into our life together, she wished me on the first month anniversary; my logic went berserk for I always thought that anniversary was celebrated once a year!  Then followed the second and the third, and now we have counted 300-plus, 313 to be precise.  Herein lies the build-up to my quandary?!  During the initial days of marriage, it was a fierce competition and one-up(wom)manship of who would wish the other first; now with increasing age studded with innate genes I am only a ‘dream winner!’

During school days, history subject was my bete noire due to its fixation with a galaxy of dates.  My dilemma was evident from my younger days; once I showed up like a well-oiled machine for a social studies exam and imagine my disbelief when the question paper was handed over to me – general science!  Rest as they say is history!

In my parents’ peer group most worked for one company during their lifetime and it was easy to remember the work anniversary date, but where does that leave us in today’s IT world where a tenure greater than five years is examined under a corporate microscope.  Did I hear three years, two?!  Equally weak-kneed to imagine the plight of younger generation in the habit of dating many boyfriends / girlfriends.

In a digital world, the smartphone pops up the reminder dates and then social-media bails me out; I promptly wish my friends and alleviate my predicament with pre-scheduled future wishes.  In the case of God proposes and Man disposes, new-age parents schedule their offspring’s introduction to this world with precision.  Then there are death anniversaries.  If we knew with certainty our ‘bid adieu’ date from this world, then is that another addition to our tryst with dates?!