FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT – THE INDIAN VERSION (26-Mar-2021)

Proverbial knowledge via proverbs like ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ holds the test of times in almost all walks of life and around the globe, unless of course you are an Indian! 

The phrase essentially means an extensive knowledge or close continuous association with someone or something can slowly trigger a loss of respect for them or it.  We Indians dare to be different and in our context this phrase has a unique connotation.  Let me explain a few scenarios…

At noon on a weekday, my friend wanted to venture into his friend’s office.  ‘You should meet this character at his office’ - he told me.  I immediately countered ‘wait at work we mustn’t disturb him.’  My friend had cast a magic spell around his friend’s life or so it seemed - ‘don’t you worry; if he is in a meeting he better step out.  After all I’m his childhood friend.’  In essence, my friend felt an adrenaline rush to capitalize on his familiarity!  While my friend’s friend probably prayed for the contempt to breed?!

Cut to another situation.  It was my wedding, and I had my fingers crossed the entire evening during the reception.  My new wife posed a quizzical look to know the reason, but I was too skeptical to tell her the impending obvious plot.  It was I who had conspired with my then hordes of bachelor friends - with a keen eye to take our familiarity to the next level!  Another friend in our group got married, and I quipped - ‘let’s gate-crash our friend’s wedding night?!’  The friend who had got married escaped this ignominy, but the boomerang had been launched.  The hatched plot was waiting to be unleashed on its originator, yours truly!

My prayers for the contempt to breed lost its connection on its path to the intended recipients, and lo behold a group of friends crash-landed at our hotel suite.  They brought a well-decked cake for us to cut and share; a little later we had crumbs lying all over on the bed and the floor, and used cutlery and tissue strewn all over.  Not to mention the smoke screen from the cigarettes, at which point I searched for my wife in the low-visibility ambience, literally!  Today’s masks would have come in handy too!

Our weddings are carried out by families who are never a stickler to the above proverb; instead, prophesize that familiarity stands in good stead and underpins the longevity of marriages.  Families discuss marriage proposals even before the boy and the girl have an inkling, at times planned when still babies in cradle.  Bride’s parents are at ease to extend an offer for their daughter’s hand to a would-be groom within familiar family circles.  Do we smell a change aroma with the Y2K generation?

In Indian subcontinent, familiarity enhances respect in a geometric progression path.  Infinity times when the other person is a well-known figure like a politician or a popular movie star or cricketer who can wield his influence.  Could this be the root-cause of many a scam since one bends the processes and bypasses the rules to please a popular figure?  Not a distant truth, perhaps a little exaggerated but nevertheless a possibility.  This is prevalent in all walks of life.

Suffices to say, in Indian context familiarity breeds esteem.  It has tempted us Indians to break rules for quick-fix results, the Satyam or Mallya or Nirav cases in point.  So much for these adages which get wrecked on our home soil!  Do I rest my case…?